I have been plagued by thoughts of dying lately. I don't what is going.. I think that it has to do with the fact that ppl in my age group are dying. I know that it is something that will eventually happen later .I am just afraid that dying will eventually happen sooner and then later.
It has been giving me uneasy feelings.. I just hope they go away soon...
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Ugh!
Sometimes i wonder if i am being really honest with myself and my feelings.
Sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing.. *Sigh*
It is very frustrating.. especially when you think that your mind is made up and then you are hit with an cold dose of reality.
ugh!!
Sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing.. *Sigh*
It is very frustrating.. especially when you think that your mind is made up and then you are hit with an cold dose of reality.
ugh!!
Friday, January 18, 2008
New Year.. Fresh Start
It amazes me how quickly 2007 went by. For the most part, it was good. I got to fillfull a dream of mine that I wanted to do for so long- Go to France:) My exchange really put things into perspective. I got to meet some GREAT ppl and make incredible friends. Opportunities like that don't come around often. When I went home, it was like a part of me was missing. The ppl that I had come accustom to having with me , were no longer there. We were part of a big puzzle and all my pieces were missing- aka my close friends from the exchange.
I quickly jumped back into work. No time to really process my feelings about being home. I think that I kept myself busy to avoid realising how much I missed my friends and how I much I had changed. I wasn't the same person that I was when I left in September. I was stronger person. You would have to be after all the stuff that I encountered during my year abroad.
The even yrs never seem to be good for me.. The end of 2006 brought the death of my beloved grandma, the death of my great uncle, an aunt and uncle in the hospital. Not exactly the best things in my life.
I thought that 2007 would end on a better note.. but it didn't. My mom was sick with an ear infection and my dad fell and broke 4 ribs the weekend before i came home for Christmas. 2007 also marked the 1st yr anniversary of my grandma's death and the death of my aunt who had cancer.
Here we are in 2008, I am in need of a fresh start. I want 2008 to be the beginning of new life, growth and beauty. I want things to start looking up and be able to see all the positive things that are surrounding me. As I gaze out my window, grateful that it is the weekend and that I can regroup... Here's hoping to a fresh start and beginning of endless possibilites & opportunities and lots of love and friends and family to go along with it.
I quickly jumped back into work. No time to really process my feelings about being home. I think that I kept myself busy to avoid realising how much I missed my friends and how I much I had changed. I wasn't the same person that I was when I left in September. I was stronger person. You would have to be after all the stuff that I encountered during my year abroad.
The even yrs never seem to be good for me.. The end of 2006 brought the death of my beloved grandma, the death of my great uncle, an aunt and uncle in the hospital. Not exactly the best things in my life.
I thought that 2007 would end on a better note.. but it didn't. My mom was sick with an ear infection and my dad fell and broke 4 ribs the weekend before i came home for Christmas. 2007 also marked the 1st yr anniversary of my grandma's death and the death of my aunt who had cancer.
Here we are in 2008, I am in need of a fresh start. I want 2008 to be the beginning of new life, growth and beauty. I want things to start looking up and be able to see all the positive things that are surrounding me. As I gaze out my window, grateful that it is the weekend and that I can regroup... Here's hoping to a fresh start and beginning of endless possibilites & opportunities and lots of love and friends and family to go along with it.
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